A letter to Heaven

Dear God,
c.c Jesus, Holy Spirit

Hello. I'm not sure whether You've noticed all the prayers i've sent You but it's been a while since You've responded. Lord, i've been trying to understand Your will and Your way for quite sometime already but somehow it just doesn't seems to click. I still need to know...why me Lord? Why my family? Lord don't You know my heart aches each time i just take a glance at my birth father? To see him just lying motionless on the bed whenever he sleeps with his eyes and mouth opens, to see him not being able to walk on his own again, to hear his voice getting softer by the day, it really hurts me a lot. He's been sending You a lot of his prayers on his own too asking You to take him with You and remove all the torture and suffering he's going through now but You didn't do that. People say You wouldn't do such mean things because You still have plans for him. He's still waiting...so am I. Lord, can You please reveal to him soon? I'd rather have him be with You than to see him like this all the time. At least i know when You're taking care of him, it'll be for eternity. Am i being selfish? I hope not but forgive me if i am.

I think i've been in denial for the past few weeks thinking a lot about You. Why is it that all my friends are having the time of their lives still studying when i'm not able to? Did i really made You mad during my 2 years in K.L? I don't know what You have in mind for my future Lord. I mean, this world You've created is pretty complicated already since Your last visit. Without this thing called a degree or a master today, the future is pretty dim for one. Oh speaking of friends Lord, thank You for blessing me with friends. But Lord, can You secretly tell them that sometimes it makes me really sad that they're not keeping their words? And also tgere are some that shows you for a while that they care but then suddenly they just vanish. I mean I do care for them dearly but then i'm just being human if i feel angry right? Do continue to bless them and forgive me again if i have sinned against them. That's what i've been taught..

God, did You hear my cries yesterday? Did You read my thoughts? I was thinking about dad again. Not now but the dad before. The one that used to have a booming voice to scold me and my brother whenever we fought. The one who always drag me to the driving range when i didn't want to go. The one who always nags on how I should save money now instead of spending it. Lord, I need more strength from You Lord. It's a new year already and i'm worried that i'll be worn out soon. Lord, point me in the right direction please. I promise i will continue to serve You with what i have and i hope You were proud of what i've done last year. I want to do more for You this year and the years to come. I want to yearn for You, i want to burn with more passion. Forgive me again i ask of You as i forgive those who have sinned against me. Lord, continue to keep an eye on me and my family..


In Your Son's name,
Amen.