Son to father...talk

Pa,

It's been a year. A long dreadful year. So much have happened while you were away. It's been hard trying to adjust certain things on our own way when back then, it's always been your so called "system" around the house. Ah, the house sure has been more quiet-er without you around yelling our names and scolding us. It's still pretty much the same since you left cause that's how the way you like it...how it feels home to all of us. Mummy's been really tired. Certain things where you usually handled now falls on her shoulders. We know she misses you a whole lot even though she only pops out your name every once in a while but we can tell she misses you so much just by the look on her face. She's been keeping herself busy with many activities for a year now. Sometimes we don't know if that's how she likes it or she just don't want to sit around the house on her own for too long knowing she'll eventually starts thinking of you again.

Pa, work is no fun. It was *a bit* okay when you were still around. At least i could confirm some stuffs with you whether i'm doing certain things the right way or not but lately it's just doing things thinking and assuming you'd do it that way. The staffs and workers are all still pretty much the same. Still the same bunch of people you worked with for the past 20 years. Foreman Lai has been helping me a lot just like how you predicted. He never fails to speak fondly about you whenever we go out for a drink. We would usually have a drink or two at restaurants where you used to bring him back then to discuss about work issues. Sometimes he would just share stories about how things were like when you both worked together till you could see tears in his eyes. He misses you a lot too pa.

Ko's not feeling well too, pa. He has finally quit smoking though after learning things the hard way. We never expected things to turn out this bad for him. Sucks really. I wonder what would you say to him if you're still around. Would you nag him as usual or would you comfort him this time? But one thing would be for sure. You'd be around to find what's best for him.

Me, Pa & Ko back in Hong Kong...

Life's been really hard these days for all of us without you around. We knew it was going to be hard but just didn't know it's going to be this hard. I guess i'm the only one who's close enough to know how stressful being in your shoes would be like by doing my best to fill in the gaps you left...except for me, i choose to give up on certain things where i know you'd spend a whole lot time doing. Well actually it's only one thing...and that's golf. Until today i still don't know why you were so obsessed with whacking that ball around 18 holes. But still, as much as i dread that sport, i'd still give up anything just to play one last hole with you. Remember when you first heard you got that dreadful sickness and finally admitted to giving up golf "forever" only to secretly sneak out behind mummy's back after a few weeks to play a few holes with me? I thought that was quite funny. The clubs are starting to rust a bit cause no one else touches them no more.

Ah, I'm turning 21 soon. I guess we won't be seeing you around again this year. All of us are growing up pretty fast. It's just slightly different or if i may say, a little bit tougher comparing to our friends without a father figure to look up to. For me, I just have to go through the hassle of looking around and picking out bits and pieces off other daddys and pretend like i learnt some qualities from you..or at least that's what i'd think that's what you would want me to learn. It's pretty silly i know but that's the only way i could think of.

Pa, it's been a year....how have you been?

I miss you pa...
22.01.1950 - 13.02.2007

In Him